Thursday, June 2, 2016

It Takes All Kinds

Editor's Note: Today we bring you another fantastic (and hilarious) piece from Christy Gualtieri! You should check her out on Twitter @agapeflower117 and at her blog asinglehour.wordpress.com.



One of my favorite things to focus on when reading the Gospels is Jesus' relationship to His disciples.  These were men who had given up everything (livelihoods, wives, families) to follow Him, and were charged with continuing the spreading of His message after His crucifixion and resurrection.  They were also martyred for it (with the exception of John, who finally died of old age).  I'd loved to have seen that homecoming in Heaven:

APOSTLES:
Hey, hey  hey! Look who finally got here!

JOHN:
Hey guys!

PETER:
What took you so long? I figured you'd be here really quickly, seeing as how everyone was pretty much killed within thirty years of the big event.

JOHN:
Yeah, it's weird, I --

MATTHEW:
So how'd they do it?

ANDREW:
Yeah, did they crucify you like they did Peter and me?

JOHN:
No, I --

PAUL:
Beheaded, then.  Yeah, that was a popular one.  That one hurt.

BARTHOLEMEW:
Could we not talk about hurt, please? I got flayed, man.  That was harsh.

PAUL:
Yeah...sorry.

MATTHEW:
So really, John.  How'd it get done?

JOHN:
My time was just up, I guess.

[Incredulous pause]

ANDREW:
What?

JOHN:
Yeah, um...ticker just went out, or something.

PETER:
Your ticker went out? What the hell!

JOHN:
Hey, guys, don't be like that --

PETER:
Oh, for all of the - hey, Jesus?

JESUS:
Hey, guys.  Oh, hey John! You made it! Dad said you were coming in today.

PETER:
What is this, man?!

JESUS:
What?

PETER:
Look - nothing against You at all [motions to John] - but all of the rest of us suffered pretty horrible deaths to get here. 

JESUS:
So did I.  Your point?

PETER:
Well, why didn’t John?

JESUS:
Easy. Because he was my favorite.

JAMES:
(to Matthew)
I TOLD YOU!

JESUS:
Guys, I'm kidding.  Not that it's any of your business, but the reason he didn't was because when I was dying, he was there.  You weren't.  Not to mention, Dad wanted you to be martyred, and not John.  Not that it matters anyway, because all of you are here now. 
[checks His watch]
Anyway, I'm off to make sure the decorations are up for John's big party. 
[He turns around to face the Apostles again]
And I definitely don't want to hear you complain about that, because all of you got one.

REST OF GROUP:
[mumbling]
Fine, yeah.

PETER:
The party should be cool.

The dynamic between all of the Apostles has always fascinated me because these were human men with incredibly human vulnerabilities.  They were apt to be jealous (James and his brother); have tempers (Peter); become suspicious (Thomas); and fearful (all of them).  They were a pretty motley crew, as if Jesus knew that centuries later there would be people unwilling to follow Him because they'd think they didn't have what it took.  

    "It's okay," Jesus seemed to say through His choices of followers.  "Believe Me.  If these guys could do it…"

    And each one brought their own abilities to the table.  After Jesus' ascension, Peter and Paul ran much of the ministry, which I think is pretty funny in and of itself, if not for the sole reason that no one trusted Paul in the beginning.  How could they have? Up until then he had presided over the deaths of many of the first to be martyred for Jesus' sake.  I mean, could you blame them?

PAUL:
Hey, guys!

PETER:
Um...hey.  Saul, right?
(to Cornelius)
Get ready to run.

PAUL:
Nah, it’s Paul now! I'm an apostle! Isn't that great?

PETER:
Excuse me?

PAUL:
Yeah, I talked it over with God and He said I could.

PETER:
WHAT?

It takes all kinds.  I mention this because I know there are plenty of people out there who question their ability to not only love God, but to follow Him and to listen for what His voice has to say to them.  “I can’t do great things for God,” they might think.  “I’m not smart enough, not funny enough, not holy enough.”  

Okay.  Maybe you’re not as smart/funny/holy as the people you’re thinking of, but as corny as it sounds, you are the only you there is.  God knew what He was doing when he created you.  As insignificant as you feel you are, you are never invisible to God.  You matter to Him.

Think about that.  Let it settle into your brain.  You matter to God.

How unbelievable is that truth? What can you do with it?


Talk to Him and find out.  

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